| My Husband Julio |
| Julio (his real name was Anibal, pronounced Aneeval, when I met him everyone called him Julio where I worked so that's what stuck for me) was a wonderful husband and fantastic father. He died October 15, 2008. He was admitted to the hospital September 12th. He was later diagnosed with anti plastic large cell lymphoma (non Hodgkin). I had him moved to Karmonos hospital because it specializes in cancer. On October 8th he was moved to ICU and put on a ventilator (I still don't know why, the nurse told me it was in case of an emergency and to give his lungs a break. He was breathing over the vent). October 13th he developed ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome). It caused his lungs, liver and kidneys to start shutting down. He died 2 days later. He fought it for as long as he could. There just wasn't anything else he or the doctors could do. He was the bravest and strongest man I knew. He didn't die from cancer. He had a thrush infection that started about a week after he was admitted. No one knew what it was. It got in his lungs and since his immune system was shot he couldn't fight it. While he was in the hospital he had many visitors. Friends from work (Delta Research). There was someone there almost everyday to fill him in on what was going on at work. He really enjoyed talking shop. They also brought him magazines, word puzzles, things to help keep him busy. He really enjoyed the visits. Most of his family came up too. He had a brother (Luis and Lydia) that was in Puerto Rico. They had a flight to come see him and be here for their sister who was having surgery for breast cancer. They plane got here too late. He died an hour before they got to see him. He was born June 13, 1958 in Lares, Puerto Rico. His mother moved his family to the states when his father died when Julio was 15. He only attended 1 1/2 years of high school (Cody High) here before dropping out to get a job to help take care of his mother and 2 younger sisters. He has a total of 4 brothers (Bob, Louis, Juan, and Tonio) and 3 sisters (Lydia, Myrna and Ilsa). He has 2 children from a previous marriage, Jenny and John, and 2 from ours, Joselyn and Haley. He has one step son, Cory. He was a tool and die maker. He was very good at what he did. He missed very few days of work. He would go in sick, he only missed if there was something wrong with me or the girls. He would stay late to get a job finished. If it was a hot job he would go in no matter how he felt and work his butt off. He loved his job. He had told me that the summer before he died. I went in a couple of times and went cross eyed when I saw the math he had to do to run his machine. I couldn't believe it. He was so good with math. And I'm not talking addition and subtraction. That stuff was hard. I couldn't imagine being able to figure it out. The girls did get to go in one day that summer and watch their Papi work. I am glad they had the opportunity to see what he did every day. There was a hot job and he had to work memorial day. We took him lunch. We used to go up and go out to lunch with him a lot until gas prices went up and then we didn't get to go so often. I miss that. I miss him calling me at his 8:30, lunch and 3:30 breaks. I still sometimes expect the phone to ring and it's been a little over a year. I met him at work October of 1994. He was a huge flirt. What I liked most about him was he was so smart. He didn't give up. He asked me to marry him 2 weeks after we were dating. I said no, but married him 4 months later. We were married March 10, 2005. He made me so happy. He was handsome, smart, funny, he had it all. We decided we wanted to have a baby. After 3 years of trying we gave up and of course that's when I got pregnant. He treated me like a queen. There wasn't anything that I needed or wanted that he didn't get or do for me. He was great. He named Joselyn. 4 years later we had Haley. The girls looked a lot alike when they were younger. He would confuse their birthday pictures. He enjoyed fishing and boating. He was starting to teach the girls to fish. They usually had more fun playing in the water and scaring the fish away. That never bothered him. Even if he caught nothing because of it. When we were boat shopping he wanted a small bass boat. I wanted one with a cabin and a potty. Guess what he got, the cabin cruiser. He used to get me whatever I wanted that he could afford. All I had to do was cry and he gave in. That's how I got my first Chihuahua. He spoiled me rotten. He was a great story teller. I heard from many how they are going to miss his stories. Every family get together he would tell them, to friends at work, even someone he just met. I have heard from many people that they miss his stories too. He could talk to anyone. He saw the movie Big Fish an had me watch it. He loved that movie. I didn't get it at the time. I do now. Though his stories weren't quite as elaborate, they sure came close. It didn't hit me till after he was gone why he loved that movie so much, it was a movie about him. He took very good care of me. I never had to take the garbage out, mow the lawn, shovel the snow. He would get up early and clean the snow off my car for me and make sure the side walk was clear. Every time I have to do these things now it's just one more thing to remind me that he is gone. Every Sunday morning he would make eggs, bacon, hash and toast. My nieces always wanted to spend Saturday night for that breakfast. I have done it once since he has been gone, it's painful. It's hard to believe something so simple could hurt so much. What I'm going to miss the most is just talking to him. I could tell him anything and he wouldn't make fun of me no matter how stupid it was. He could answer almost any question I had. I miss telling him about funny things the girls have done. There are so many things going on right now that I could use his guidance. Many things I would love to hear his opinion on. I really needed him here when my son Cory left for boot camp for the Marines. I'm going to need him even more when Cory gets sent on his first tour. Julio was my voice of reason. I can be very compulsive and he was always there to talk some sense into me, to let me know that whatever someone else did I had to be an adult about it. He was definitely the mellower of the two of us. He helped keep my feet on the ground. He was so proud of his kids. He would brag about all 4 (and Cory, my son) of them to anyone that would listen. Jenny is a nurse, he would tell people she was doing great and didn't have to worry about her. He would joke that she made more money than he does. He was so proud of what she has done with her life. She has a boyfriend now that seems like a really great guy (Brandon). I so wish Julio would've gotten to meet him, he would've loved him. I used to tell him he would lose his hair when he got older. He would say he was taking it with him when he died. His hair was falling out from the chemo, but he still had a lot left. He had no bald spots. I'm sure he will remind me of that someday and rub it in. He had almost no gray hair. I'm 11 years younger than him and have more that half a head of gray hair. He would tease me about it. I used to dye it red. He would come home from work saying "Lucy, I'm home", lol. He was always saying those corny men things. You will see in many of his pictures he had a lot of hair on his face. He always said he had sensitive skin and couldn't shave much. He would shave about every two weeks. The girls loved his "pokies". He would tickle them with the pokies. He very seldom shaved off his mustache. I liked him with out it but the girls loved the mustache so he kept it for them. When they were little and he shaved it off they would ignore him or cry. Guess they didn't recognize him. A few years ago I was going to Indiana to get a new Pomeranian pup. I didn't ask him because he would give complain about it before he would say yes. He was like a little old lady sometimes, would love to complain. The day before I was going to go he told me he was going with me because I would get lost and he didn't feel like driving down there to find me, lol. I knew he wanted to go and would, I just wasn't asking. He was a lover of classic cars. There wasn't an old car that went by that he didn't know the year, make and model. He was going to rebuild a 69 Camaro for me, a grocery getter he called it. We never got around to it. We used to watch the Barret Jackson auction every year, trying to see who would come closest to the final bid. He was always closest. He liked a lot of different music. Salsa, meringue, Rock, new country and a couple of rap artists. He liked Snoop Dog and Andre 3000. That was it. He would play Salsa and dance around the living room with the girls when they were babies. We didn't do much dancing. He would say he needed a couple of drinks to loosen up. He would finish one and fall asleep. We spent a lot of time at home, we didn't go out much. We would go fishing and take the girls to the park and wave pool, but that was about it. We were happy to just be at home with the girls. We would spend Sunday mornings during the summer drinking coffee by the pond. Of course this was during the summer. In the evenings most nights he would pull out the grill and make dinner. He loved to cook. He and Haley loved the food channel and he would try different things. Olive oil became his best friend. He was planning on opening a diner when he retired with Haley. It was a dream they had. They would argue over what they would call it. Haley still has plans to be a chef and open her own restaurant. She plans on naming it after her Papi. About 5 years ago (2003) we went to Frankenmuth, Michigan for our anniversary. It was a lot of fun. We ended up leaving early because we missed the girls. After that year we took them with us. We would pay extra to stay at the hotel with the water park. We couldn't stand to be away from them for 2 days. He liked to hunt. He hadn't been since I met him. Last year he asked me to go with him. He never took his ex wife, I remember him telling me he went to get a break from her. I told him I wasn't going to go out in the woods and freeze my butt off so he didn't go. He didn't want to be away from me. I so wish I would've gone now. He fell asleep a lot. At the movies, friends and relatives house, bingo, the bath tub, he even fell asleep on the toilet a few times. I've heard stories of him falling asleep with gum in his mouth. It would roll up and down as he snored (boy could he snore). He'd even chew it. Thank God they made mattresses not so flammable or he would've burned the house down. He was always falling asleep with a cigarette. Sometimes he'd burn himself. We had 5 couches, every one of them had at least one burn hole in it where he fell asleep. I wouldn't have it a month before he did it. When he did fall asleep he wouldn't admit to it. Would say he was just resting his eyes. When I'd tell him he was snoring he'd say that's just how he breathed, lol. Sometimes he would almost shut his eyes and catch me watching him to see if he was sleeping and then jump up and scare the crap out of me. He thought if his hair got too long it gave him headaches. He said it was too heavy for his head. I don't know what gave him that idea. I couldn't make him believe otherwise. He taught me I could say no and nothing would happen. It was something I couldn't do in my first marriage without having consequences. Poor Julio, no became my favorite word after that. He never cheated on me, he didn't have time. He would go to work, come home right after and never go any where with out me. The only times we weren't home at night together was when I started going to dog shows. That wasn't his thing. He was a closet Chihuahua lover. He was afraid if someone say him outside of the house with them they wouldn't think he was a manly. He did help get me into showing and not breeding pet quality dogs. He told me if I wanted to do it I had to do it right and pet out my dogs that weren't the quality they should've been to breed. That and he and my first Chi Minnie didn't get a long well. It was a power struggle. She would pee and poop on his side of the bed anytime I left the bedroom door open. She would even go in his shoe. They both wanted to be boss and neither was giving up. It didn't help that I thought it was funny. The last thing we did with the girls before he got sick was go to the Gibraltar wave pool. We had a blast. Got beat up too trying to hang on to the girls in the big waves. But it was fun. We had a cook out at the park after wards. I had brought some baked beans we couldn't eat because we forgot to pack the spoons. Julio cut a paper plate in half and used that. I just waited till I got home. We had so much fun that day. I know a lot of people will make it sound like their late spouses were saints, never did anything wrong. Julio was far from perfect, but he was perfect for me. He understood me like no one ever has. I doubt I will ever find someone that can come close to what we had. He was my soul mate. He loved me so well that I won't have to find some one else, he loved me enough to last a lifetime, till I can be with him again. I have a lot of wonderful memories of him. I wish we were still able to make more. Whether it's 14 years or 50 years, it never seems like enough time. I am very thankful for the time we did have together. It was worth the pain I am feeling now. My life wouldn't have been complete without him. I am so glad I got to meet and share my life with him. He gave me many things, my daughters being the greatest gift of all. He will always be my hero. I will keep adding to this when I feel I can. It's really hard to do. I miss him so much. He was my best friend. I'd like to thank my family, friends, the owner (Bob) and employees of Delta Research (where Julio worked) and the Chihuahua community. It's great to know there's so many out there that care. If anyone has any memories they would like to share email them to me and I will add them. There are pictures starting on the second page. I do have videos and as soon as I can figure out how to get them uploaded I will add them. |
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| March 10, 1995 when we were married. |
| Little I knew that morning, God was going to call your name, In life we loved you dearly, In death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, You did not go alone, For part of me went with you, The day God called you home. You left us beautiful memories, Your love is still our guide, And though we can not see you, You are always by our side. Our family chain is broken, And nothing seems the same, But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again. |